Carpenter's Corner

It was a cool Saturday afternoon in mid February, John wanting to make his life more meaningful ventured from his home here in Pascagoula and headed up the highway to a rural community. A community not seen by many in the county, but this particular day John was not out for a joy ride he was on a mission. You see John had heard rumors about Nueman, how he had been mistreated, how he had been abused and heard how he had no real home and had to face the cold nights curled up on a pile of hay. So John, with a handful of nails and a borrowed hammer set out to build a shelter for Nueman. After arriving at the area where Nueman called home, John began somewhat of a scavenger hunt, he searched the area and local burn piles for any type of wood he thought would help him in his quest. (He would have made McGyver proud) It did not take John long to come up with what he needed for he is an experienced scavanger. He began scurrying around the area and you could see the determination written all over his face. His efforts were very encouraging to the small group of people who had began to gather around watching. With a skill saw and borrowed hammer he began pounding and sawing, the odor of semi rotted plywood dust being cut filled the air as the dull blade on the saw made its final cut. After what seemed like hours, John was finished. The small crowd was amazed at his abilities and craftsmanship and was in awe of his dedication. John only smiled and said "There are more Nueman's out there, lets all pitch in and lend a hand." As the crowd applauded his efforts, John showed Nueman the house. Upon seeing the house Nueman squealed with delight but was reluctant to go in. John, not understanding Nueman's position began to use brute force, he picked Nueman up and shoved him into the house head first. Once inside Nueman, somewhat dazed and disoriented was so excited that you could hear him squealing for several hundred yards. For Nueman you see was a Pot Bellied Pig.

Interview with John Nicklason
Pas.net	Hi Mr. Nicklason, thanks for doing this interview.
Nick	It's my pleasure. It's not every day that you get to tell the world about the need for pig homes in rural areas.
Pas.net	How long have you been building "pig homes"...is that what you call them?
Nick	Laughs, Yea, that's what I call them. Actually, this is my first one. I have been dreaming of doing this all my life but I always had the fear that people would call me "Pig lover."
Pas.net	What made you come out of the closet now you Mr. Pig Lover?
Nick	You can only keep a yearning like that bottled up inside you for so long. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had heard about this pig named Nueman that had no shelter from the cold, rain or sun. I decided it was time to act.
Pas.net	Did you get permission from the owner of the pig or was this a covert operation?
Nick	I had permission. I mean, I love pigs but I'm not gonna get shot over one. People in rural area's will shoot you for things like that.
Pas.net	True. Are you going to continue to build pig homes?
Nick	I am seriously considering quitting my job as forklift driver at Ingalls Shipbuilding to do this full time. Forklift drivers get no respect. I'm just a gopher. The real reward is in pig homes. It truly is a great feeling to work for 8 hours with scrap lumber (pulled from burn piles) and realize that you just made a pig very happy. Pigs are very smart. Neuman understood that I was building this for him....sure, at first he thought it was another pump house but after I explained, he was excited.
Pas.net	Haven't you heard the story of "The Three Little Pigs?" Aren't you concerned that the house will be blown down? After all, It is made of wood. Did you consider bricks?
Nick	I did but since the strike last year I haven't exactly been in the black financially. It's not easy to find bricks laying around like scrap wood. If I come across some bricks, I will implement Phase 2 of the project, which would be to cover the structure with brick.
Pas.net	Does the pig use the house?
Nick	Oh yea, he loves it. He couldn't wait to try it out. He followed me all over.
Pas.net	Well Mr. Nicklason, I'm afraid that's all the pig lovin' time we have today. Is there anything else you want to say?
Nick	I would like to house every pig in Jackson County but I can't do it without the owners help. If you or someone you know has a pig without a home, all you have to do is email me and I'll start looking for scrap. Thanks again for having me.

Editors Note: Since this interview, John has left Pascagoula and moved to Hurley, Neumans pig house has burnt down and Neuman has run away. We wanted to see what was up with him so we took a little drive to Hurley. Here is the recent interview below.

Pas.net	Well Mr. Nicklason, we haven't seen you in about 2 years. How has it going? Are you still building pig houses?
Nick	Actually, I've been doing pretty well. This fresh air in Hurley has rejuvenated me. I'm not building pig houses any more because, if there's one thing I found out, pigs don't appreciate anything. I'm almost sorry I built that house for that stinking pig. I've been buying a lot more bacon recently also.
Pas.net	Getting a little revenge huh?
Nick	I wouldn't call it revenge, it's more like thumbing my nose at the pig population.
Pas.net	Since pigs are out of favor with you, what have you been doing with the time you allotted to the pigs?
Nick	I've gotten into bird watching. It's very relaxing and I can do it in my back yard. I found a very nice group of people called "The Elite Birdwatchers". They have real class and I'm proud to be an associated with them.
Pas.net	From pigs to birds? It's kind of hard to picture that transition. I hope, for all the birds sake, you don't have a falling out with those birdwatchers and start shooting all the birds.
Nick	Nah, I could never do that. Though, I might start eating more chicken if that ever happened.
Pas.net	Speaking of chickens, I noticed on my drive up here that there were many chickens running around different places and they appeared to have no house. Are you planning on housing the chickens of Jackson County now?
Nick	I believe I'm gonna pass on that. A chicken's brain is no bigger than a pea. I don't think it matters to them if they have a house or not. Listen, I'm really sorry to have to run off on you like this but I need to go get ready for my weekly Elite Birdwatchers meeting. Eddie Read is going to be singing some of the songs from his new CD "The Bird Is Blue" and I don't want to miss it.
Pas.net	I can certainly understand that. It has been a pleasure following up on you and getting to talk to you again. Make sure you watch for snakes while bird watching.
Nick	Thanks, I will.


	Neuman


	The End